Relationships are complicated, and many individuals have worried at one point or another if their significant other is cheating on them. Most of the time, these concerns can be addressed through proper communication.
However, it helps to be aware of the signs that your wife is cheating so you know what to look out for before sitting down and having a conversation with your spouse. Below, we give you information on the most common signs of cheating and advice on your next steps.
The Most Common Signs of Cheating
If you suspect that your wife is cheating, review the following common signs. Keep in mind that cheating may make your spouse exhibit a range of behavior, including behavior that isn’t on this list, and that these changes may be for other reasons than infidelity.
The best thing you can do if you are observing these signs is take a moment to reflect – we discuss what to do after this at the end of our article.
Communication Changes or Breakdowns
Communication changes or a total breakdown in communication are generally major signs that something is amiss in your relationship. If you suddenly find yourself having more arguments with your wife, she exhibits dismissive behavior such as eye-rolling during conversations, or your partner shuts down completely and refuses to engage in a discussion, there may be a problem.
Other communication changes include ignoring questions about their behavior, storming off, stalling or procrastinating on important conversations, and acting passive-aggressively.
Attitude and Behavior Changes
Attitude and behavior changes from your wife include her becoming more critical of you, exhibiting signs of low self-esteem or confusion, or a newfound penchant for danger, thrills, and impulsive behavior. Your spouse may also be more negative about their partnership with you, picks fights frequently, or acts strange whenever the topic of infidelity is brought up.
Alternatively, your wife might be happier than usual, spend time lost in their thoughts often, or seem to be planning many independent activities outside of your partnership.
Of course, significant attitude or behavioral changes may indicate a number of other issues, some of them medical, so you should attempt to address these problems with your wife as soon as possible.
Changes in Intimacy
A change in your sex life with your partner is often a major indication that something is amiss in your relationship. If your wife frequently showers after coming home, has a severely decreased libido, is constantly turning you down for intimacy, or brings new things to your sex life she never showed an interest in before, she might be gaining fulfillment outside of your relationship.
However, it’s important to note that changes in sexual behavior and a decreased sex drive are often associated with mental health and physical health issues; make sure that you address these concerns before immediately jumping to the conclusion your wife is cheating.
Unexpected Schedule Changes
Unexpected schedule changes, spending more time out of the house or at work, or engaging in activities alone outside of the home more often all may indicate that your wife is seeing someone on the side.
If these behaviors are combined with your wife refusing to elaborate on who she’s seeing outside, where exactly her free time is going, or she suddenly has a completely new group of friends that she doesn’t want to introduce you to, it’s likely time for a serious conversation.
Money issues such as overspending, credit card purchases that don’t make sense or add up with your wife’s explanations, spending on gifts and restaurants, and a stop in saving up for major join purchases, like a home or a car, may indicate that your wife is spending their money on someone else.
You should keep in mind that financial problems and lying about financial activity may also be a result of your wife trying to hide other issues, such as previously undisclosed debts or gambling problems. Make sure to thoroughly research money issues before making accusations of cheating.
Changes in Technology Use
Another classic sign of cheating is a change in technology use. This usually manifests in your partner being more guarded around their phone, using apps that they’ve never shown an interest in before (such as Snapchat or Instagram), refusing to let you look at their phone, and spending more time talking on the phone or texting without elaborating on who they are speaking with.
Frequently clearing browser history, changing passwords, and stopping the sharing of devices or online storage accounts may also indicate a problem.
Increased Attention to Appearance
Individuals who start cheating often begin paying increased attention to their appearance. This might manifest in your wife joining a gym, taking extra steps with their appearance before work, or wearing different styles of clothing and clothing that you’ve never seen before.
Attempts to ask them about their appearance or clothing might be met with anger, dismissal, or lies.
Frequent Lying and Indifference
Catching your wife frequently in lies about where she was, who she was with, or any new activities she has undertaken are all major signs of infidelity.
Lots of lies and an increased sense of indifference when it comes to those lies and any activities you need to complete together, such as family gatherings, may indicate that your wife is seeing someone else or has someone else on her mind.
Considering Your Next Steps
If you’ve noticed your wife exhibiting some of these common signs of cheating, look over our suggestions for your next steps. Remember, there are plenty of reasons besides infidelity that may cause your partner to change their behavior, so be sure to examine all possibilities before making accusations.
Some of the next steps you can take if you suspect your wife is cheating are:
- Hire a private investigator – you will typically pay a private investigator an hourly rate for them to figure out if your wife really is cheating. The private investigator will likely be able to gather evidence and present it to you, which may be helpful if you plan on filing for divorce based on your wife’s infidelity.
- Use an address search tool – an onlinereverse address lookup can help you figure out who your wife is going to see. This method works if you’ve noticed a new address pop up in your wife’s location history and you want to investigate further. Just remember that you cannot use any of the information you gain from a tool like this to stalk or harass someone.
- Sit your wife down and have a conversation – this might be a difficult conversation, especially if your wife is combative, but you can frame it like you are concerned about them. Gather your questions ahead of time, bring any supporting evidence, and prepare for a tough conversation. If you believe your wife might become violent when confronted, inform a close friend or family member about your activities and leave the area immediately if there is a threat to your safety.
Find Out If Your Wife Is Cheating
Every situation and partnership is different, so it’s important to apply these signs of cheating to your wife’s normal behavior. There may be other signs not listed here or other reasons that might inspire a change in behavior that needs to be addressed before you sit your wife down and ask for a discussion about potential infidelity.
Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family members, or a therapist if you feel that your situation is becoming too much to handle alone.